I’m having some problems coming up with something clever to say. So I stole this from someone else.

I laughed until I cried. 

I’m finding it increasingly difficult to find things to complain about. I’m not saying my life is perfect—it’s just why spend so much time complaining when I could be doing something about it. And that’s what I’m trying to do. Do something about it, that is.

Next week I will be 53 years old. I say this every year, but I’ll say it again: I never thought I’d be this old. Funny. When I was younger, I thought I’d be having 53-year-old thoughts. But I don’t. I’m still just me. OK. Sometimes I worry I might have a heart attack or a stroke or something. But, in all, I’m the same person I’ve been for years—maybe a little wiser. But the same. That gets me every year, too. The way I’m just the same. You’ll see that as you get older. If you’re 20 now, don’t fool yourself into thinking that somehow you’ll have start having some weird 50-year-old thoughts someday. It won’t happen. You will just be you.

You won’t suddenly become grandmotherly or grandfatherly as the case may be. You won’t suddenly have urges to bake cupcakes—I mean if you never did before. You will just be you. The person you are.

As a disclaimer, I will say, yes, some of you ideas and actions will mature. You probably won’t stay up all night—unless you’re going through menopause and can’t sleep. But then that isn’t a choice.

Anyway, I could go on. But I’m trying to make a point. And that is: you don’t make drastic changes in your personality. You’re just older. 

Foodie Getting Fit wrote a post about emotional eating recently. I’m posting it here for you. I hope you find something that helps you.

I’ve been having some vivid dreams lately so I want to write them down—mostly so I won’t forget and can then try to draw some insight from them. Anyway, last night I dreamed I was offered a new job out of the blue. The woman who would be my new boss told me she was impressed by me and wanted me to start working for her—right away.

I was kind of puzzled as to why she thought I was so great—and I was kind of afraid of changing to a new a job. What about my current job? What if I couldn’t do this new job? However, the new job was something I would much prefer doing. It had to do with health and weight issues. It came with many benefits as well—lie built in nutrition and exercise. Still I had this fear of change.

I kept looking back at my old job and thinking that it had been the only thing I had done for years. What if I really couldn’t separate myself from it? How could I just leave it?

Then for whatever reason, I said to myself, “Kathy you would be a fool not to take this new job. It is everything you’ve wanted in a job. And it can help you build yourself into the person you want to be.” And so I took the job. That was the end of the dream as I woke up.

OK. the night before the dream was about having the keys I needed—you know, even though I thought I lost my keys I knew who had the keys I needed. Last night it was about being offered something very appealing totally unexpectedly that would make my life into what I want it to be. I’m definitely on board for that.

Another thing, when I woke up from last night’s dream I was very disappointed that I woke up into my life as it is now. Sigh. 

OK. One more dream experience, then I’m done. Last night I dreamed I couldn’t move. I thought I was being held down by a demon. I thought it had me completely wrapped up in it’s clutches. And no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t scream for help. It was like my voice had been blocked.

Now, I’ve had enough experience with dreams to know that this was sleep paralysis. However, I can’t get away from the fact that this is how I feel right now—paralyzed. I can’t make anything happen. I can’t get going on anything. I feel like my world is ready to fall apart. I used to be able to make my life into what I wanted it to be. I’m not saying that everything I wanted came easily—but I didn’t have fear that I have now. Sometimes I feel like I’m trapped under the debris that my poor decisions have left behind. But enough of that.

I am working hard to put myself into a positive mindset. I want to believe that I can make my life into what I want it to be.

So I can’t think of anything else right now. Short sweet post—and my determination to break free and become who I want to  be. 

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Last night, I dreamed I lost my car keys. I had locked the car—and I think I left it running. So the keys must’ve been in the car. But I couldn’t find a key to get back in. And for some reason my car was really one of those giant pick-up trucks, which I  wouldn’t drive. But this is a dream so . . . Anyway, I searched everywhere I could think of, but no luck. So I decided to go about my business—and worry about the keys when I needed them. And that surely happened.

Then some old boyfriend showed up. At first I thought about getting back into a relationship with him, but he didn’t want to. Then I realized that I didn’t want it either. It just seemed like a way to get home. Then I checked a key ring in my purse, but the keys weren’t there. Then I poured all of the contents out of my purse and thought for moment I had found them. But again no. The illusive keys disappeared before I can get them in my hand.

Then, a revelation hit me. I had given spare keys to a number of people.  In fact, at least five people had keys. I could remember who had them—all I had to do was ask. Why hadn’t I remembered that before? Why did I always forget that these people had keys? If I could remember that, I wouldn’t have to go through this all the time.

Anyway, I think I know what this means in my life. I keep going through the same problem over and over, and I forget that I know where the keys are to solve it.

Have you ever dreamed that you lost your keys? 

I love this song.

I was wondering about the things that other people pray for. So I started looking around the web and found a few letters to God. I was surprised at how many people pray for things that are similar to my own requests to the Lord. As it turns out, a lot of people want God’s help.

I have written numerous “God, Please help me,” letters and said many of those prayers. Have you ever asked God for help? Have you ever written a letter to God? I started a simple poll—it’s to the right of this post. I’m not trying to be intrusive. I’m just wondering. Also, do believe that God has answered your prayer or letter?