And the sucking doesn’t stop there. OK that sounded perverse… Get your mind out of the gutter! It’s much more than the physical sucking in of my gut, it’s also mental. When heading out to my last client meeting, surveying my look in the hotel mirror, and sighing yet again about how fat I looked, I just had to tell myself, “Yup, you’re fat, deal with it, suck it up.” I find that when physically sucking it in fails to satisfy my need to “look” thinner, eventually I admit defeat and suck it up to gain enough confidence to face my day. I hate that I’m settling for the body I have and have to “deal” with it. As I’ve said many times in the past, I’m not looking to be skinny, just comfortable in my own skin. I don’t want to settle for the big body I have, I don’t want to have to keeping sucking it up to deal with my emotions. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t just suck it up in the sense that I’m burying my emotions or anything. I hate it, it sucks. But you have to go about your life, and on those days you feel bad about the way you look, life is still moves forward, and sometimes you have to put those feelings of self-doubt aside. I applaud myself for the fact that in the past, sucking it up used to mean saying, “Whoa is me, now where are the brownies?” Now, I still say, “Whoa is me…” But now I think about how the hell I’m going to fix this? (sans brownies) I at least recognize the fact that a pan of brownies will only make my situation worse.

So what am I doing about it? Hmm… let me think… I know this one… Oh yeah… not a lot! OK I know that is totally the wrong answer, but it’s the truth. I’m not doing a lot right now. I’ve gotten a decent handle on my diet: forgoing massive quantities of sweet, eating whole grains, *trying* to eat more fruits and veggies (hey at least I’m trying), and listening to when my body feels full. Doing this, I’ve maintained my weight loss for over 2 years. But I’m seriously lacking in the exercise department, which is the ONLY way I’ll start losing weight again. The fiance and I got memberships to a local gym. That was a big step for me. Problem is… That’s the closest step I’ve made to the gym! It’s been 3 months and we have yet to go for a workout. I know, I’m bad! I am so exercise-a-phobic. I just hate it. All that hard work and sweating, bah! Can I just sit on the couch? Of course I know the answer to that question. Sure, I can keep on sitting as long as I’m fine with settling for my big bootie, because apparently it’s impossible to suck in your butt!

Apparently the only way I can fix this is to suck it up… suck up my fear of exercise and get moving! Because no amount of sucking it in will ever make me lose another 100 pounds!

And the sucking doesn’t stop there. OK that sounded perverse… Get your mind out of the gutter! It’s much more than the physical sucking in of my gut, it’s also mental. When heading out to my last client meeting, surveying my look in the hotel mirror, and sighing yet again about how fat I looked, I just had to tell myself, “Yup, you’re fat, deal with it, suck it up.” I find that when physically sucking it in fails to satisfy my need to “look” thinner, eventually I admit defeat and suck it up to gain enough confidence to face my day. I hate that I’m settling for the body I have and have to “deal” with it. As I’ve said many times in the past, I’m not looking to be skinny, just comfortable in my own skin. I don’t want to settle for the big body I have, I don’t want to have to keeping sucking it up to deal with my emotions. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t just suck it up in the sense that I’m burying my emotions or anything. I hate it, it sucks. But you have to go about your life, and on those days you feel bad about the way you look, life is still moves forward, and sometimes you have to put those feelings of self-doubt aside. I applaud myself for the fact that in the past, sucking it up used to mean saying, “Whoa is me, now where are the brownies?” Now, I still say, “Whoa is me…” But now I think about how the hell I’m going to fix this? (sans brownies) I at least recognize the fact that a pan of brownies will only make my situation worse.

So what am I doing about it? Hmm… let me think… I know this one… Oh yeah… not a lot! OK I know that is totally the wrong answer, but it’s the truth. I’m not doing a lot right now. I’ve gotten a decent handle on my diet: forgoing massive quantities of sweet, eating whole grains, *trying* to eat more fruits and veggies (hey at least I’m trying), and listening to when my body feels full. Doing this, I’ve maintained my weight loss for over 2 years. But I’m seriously lacking in the exercise department, which is the ONLY way I’ll start losing weight again. The fiance and I got memberships to a local gym. That was a big step for me. Problem is… That’s the closest step I’ve made to the gym! It’s been 3 months and we have yet to go for a workout. I know, I’m bad! I am so exercise-a-phobic. I just hate it. All that hard work and sweating, bah! Can I just sit on the couch? Of course I know the answer to that question. Sure, I can keep on sitting as long as I’m fine with settling for my big bootie, because apparently it’s impossible to suck in your butt!

Apparently the only way I can fix this is to suck it up… suck up my fear of exercise and get moving! Because no amount of sucking it in will ever make me lose another 100 pounds!

I seem to have gotten a handle on my eating habits. I’ve cut out the excess junk food, avoided fast food, brought whole grains into my life, consume more fruits and veggies, and watch my total calorie intake. This has allowed me to lose 75 pounds and maintain that lose for over a year. But now my weight won’t seem to budge, and I know just the reason why… exercise. Even the word is like nails on the chalkboard to me. But without it, I just won’t lose more weight (in a healthy, maintain it for life way, of course).

So once again tis the time of year for resolutions, and for probably the tenth straight year, exercise more is my New Year’s resolution. That brings me to my reason… resolutions. Why is it that we save up things we want to do, especially things that are good for us, till the beginning of the new year? Health and fitness are something we should strive for year round, but it always seems to be something we put off. It’s kind of like the idea that you can’t start a diet mid-week (diets only start on Mondays of course). If we have some big looming goal, we put it off til the beginning of the year.

New Years resolutions are also an excuse to turn a blind eye to health during the holidays. The end of the year is laden with goodies, and feasts, and sweets. Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years – all within two months time. Those two months can do a lot of damage if you’re watching your weight! So it seems the resolution is a way for us to ditch the calorie counting, grab a fork, and overindulge. I’m not saying that’s entirely a bad thing. Splurging from time to time is needed. But there is a difference between enjoying all the yummies at Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner without returning for seconds, or thirds, or fourths?… Honestly, that first plate was indulgence enough. I know in the past, when the holidays came, it was like, woo hoo, time to eat! At Halloween I would down enough fun-sized candy bars to put a diabetic into a coma. At Thanksgiving, I would gorge on turkey, and stuffing, and mashed potatoes, and gravy, and green bean casserole, and stuffing, and stuffing, and stuffing (can you tell I like stuffing?)… And if that wasn’t enough, I would still make room for pie (apparently unzipping your pants helps in this process)… Oh and not just pumpkin, had to have both pumpkin AND pecan pie. And then at Christmas, it was like Thanksgiving take two, only this time add a stocking full of candy and a house full of Christmas cookies. I have this little odd autistic quirt about me… I have to do things in rounded numbers (I know, I’m weird). So take Christmas cookies, if I make 10 batches of Christmas cookies (10 different types), that means each time I want a cookie, I would have to eat 10 cookies… to even out the batches of course. Obesity and OCD… not a good combination in this case!

Anyway, back to my topic. While I hate that we use the ole New Year’s resolution as an excuse for bad behavior throughout the year, I must say I am again making my resolution. I made one small step in the right direction already. My fiance and I joined the gym! (Oh yes, you read right… fiance! My beau of almost two years has asked me to marry him!) But here’s where the resolution comes in… we joined the gym in November… and have yet to go! So this year, we’re hoping to go (no no wrong word, scratch that)… we’re starting to go to the gym regularly. Of course, I know my style. If I don’t ease into it, I’ll be scared away after a week! So we’ll take it slow and start going like twice a week and build from there in frequency and duration to help us make ourselves healthier for the new year. It will be nice to have a gym buddy to help motivate me to go. Once he gets going, my fiance likes exercise (yeah I know, weird), so that will help a lot!

On that note, Happy New Year everyone! May this year bring you a life with happiness and good health! So what’s your New Year’s resolution?

First off, I got a job!!! Yay! In past posts, I was talking about how I was starting to think it was my fat keeping me from getting a job. I had gone on a couple 2nd interviews even that resulted in nothing. So yup, I was starting to really doubt myself. But lo and behold, all I need was a little patience (maybe a lot of patience!). The economy sucks and it just took more time than I thought to find a great job.

Another good thing (geesh I sound like Martha Stewart), is that I am FINALLY falling off this weight plateau. I’m losing again, slowly but surely. 277 now, so down 75 pounds total. Yay! Plateaus are trickey. The body does naturally resist weight loss at times, slowing your weight loss down to allow time for your body to adjust. But there comes a point where you need to realize the plateau is not a plateau, but rather you being lazy about trying to lose weight. I must admit it was the latter for me. I had been getting lazy about weight loss lately. Too many sweets, too many second helpings, too little exercise. It’s one thing to hit a plateau for a few weeks or a month or something, but if you’ve been sitting at a plateau for month after month… chances are you need to be doing something more. So I’ve been doing that something more and it’s working again. Weight loss isn’t rocket science – eat less, move more. But sometimes even something so simple is so hard to stick to! I think the important thing to think about is that even though I got lazy with weight loss, I still didn’t give up. I knew I was doing less than spectacular in trying to lose weight, but I didn’t just throw in the towel. In past years, I would have just said, “oh screw it, I’m not losing any weight anymore…. now I can eat that whole cheesecake” (I’m exaggerating of couse) I think the biggest difference for me this time around, is that I know this is a life-long commitment. So when I get lazy or eat poorly for while, I just tell myself it’s like a little holiday, and I always come back to good habits. I guess in the past it was always the other way around, the default mode was bad habits.

And I’m still working on the book. The new job has me busy busy lately. I’m actually on the road as we speak on a 9 day long business trip! But I’m putting the final touches on a few book edits, so it’s definitely moving along, albeit a little more slowly. I’m so excited to get 101 Reasons into print! It’s been years of blood, sweat, and tears… ok maybe brownies, exercise, and venting… but you get the idea.

And on a side note: I know I don’t post nearly enough, but I’m still here. So stop asking to buy my blog! It’s not for sale!!!

I seem to have gotten a handle on my eating habits. I’ve cut out the excess junk food, avoided fast food, brought whole grains into my life, consume more fruits and veggies, and watch my total calorie intake. This has allowed me to lose 75 pounds and maintain that lose for over a year. But now my weight won’t seem to budge, and I know just the reason why… exercise. Even the word is like nails on the chalkboard to me. But without it, I just won’t lose more weight (in a healthy, maintain it for life way, of course).

So once again tis the time of year for resolutions, and for probably the tenth straight year, exercise more is my New Year’s resolution. That brings me to my reason… resolutions. Why is it that we save up things we want to do, especially things that are good for us, till the beginning of the new year? Health and fitness are something we should strive for year round, but it always seems to be something we put off. It’s kind of like the idea that you can’t start a diet mid-week (diets only start on Mondays of course). If we have some big looming goal, we put it off til the beginning of the year.

New Years resolutions are also an excuse to turn a blind eye to health during the holidays. The end of the year is laden with goodies, and feasts, and sweets. Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years – all within two months time. Those two months can do a lot of damage if you’re watching your weight! So it seems the resolution is a way for us to ditch the calorie counting, grab a fork, and overindulge. I’m not saying that’s entirely a bad thing. Splurging from time to time is needed. But there is a difference between enjoying all the yummies at Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner without returning for seconds, or thirds, or fourths?… Honestly, that first plate was indulgence enough. I know in the past, when the holidays came, it was like, woo hoo, time to eat! At Halloween I would down enough fun-sized candy bars to put a diabetic into a coma. At Thanksgiving, I would gorge on turkey, and stuffing, and mashed potatoes, and gravy, and green bean casserole, and stuffing, and stuffing, and stuffing (can you tell I like stuffing?)… And if that wasn’t enough, I would still make room for pie (apparently unzipping your pants helps in this process)… Oh and not just pumpkin, had to have both pumpkin AND pecan pie. And then at Christmas, it was like Thanksgiving take two, only this time add a stocking full of candy and a house full of Christmas cookies. I have this little odd autistic quirt about me… I have to do things in rounded numbers (I know, I’m weird). So take Christmas cookies, if I make 10 batches of Christmas cookies (10 different types), that means each time I want a cookie, I would have to eat 10 cookies… to even out the batches of course. Obesity and OCD… not a good combination in this case!

Anyway, back to my topic. While I hate that we use the ole New Year’s resolution as an excuse for bad behavior throughout the year, I must say I am again making my resolution. I made one small step in the right direction already. My fiance and I joined the gym! (Oh yes, you read right… fiance! My beau of almost two years has asked me to marry him!) But here’s where the resolution comes in… we joined the gym in November… and have yet to go! So this year, we’re hoping to go (no no wrong word, scratch that)… we’re starting to go to the gym regularly. Of course, I know my style. If I don’t ease into it, I’ll be scared away after a week! So we’ll take it slow and start going like twice a week and build from there in frequency and duration to help us make ourselves healthier for the new year. It will be nice to have a gym buddy to help motivate me to go. Once he gets going, my fiance likes exercise (yeah I know, weird), so that will help a lot!

On that note, Happy New Year everyone! May this year bring you a life with happiness and good health! So what’s your New Year’s resolution?

First off, I got a job!!! Yay! In past posts, I was talking about how I was starting to think it was my fat keeping me from getting a job. I had gone on a couple 2nd interviews even that resulted in nothing. So yup, I was starting to really doubt myself. But lo and behold, all I need was a little patience (maybe a lot of patience!). The economy sucks and it just took more time than I thought to find a great job.

Another good thing (geesh I sound like Martha Stewart), is that I am FINALLY falling off this weight plateau. I’m losing again, slowly but surely. 277 now, so down 75 pounds total. Yay! Plateaus are trickey. The body does naturally resist weight loss at times, slowing your weight loss down to allow time for your body to adjust. But there comes a point where you need to realize the plateau is not a plateau, but rather you being lazy about trying to lose weight. I must admit it was the latter for me. I had been getting lazy about weight loss lately. Too many sweets, too many second helpings, too little exercise. It’s one thing to hit a plateau for a few weeks or a month or something, but if you’ve been sitting at a plateau for month after month… chances are you need to be doing something more. So I’ve been doing that something more and it’s working again. Weight loss isn’t rocket science – eat less, move more. But sometimes even something so simple is so hard to stick to! I think the important thing to think about is that even though I got lazy with weight loss, I still didn’t give up. I knew I was doing less than spectacular in trying to lose weight, but I didn’t just throw in the towel. In past years, I would have just said, “oh screw it, I’m not losing any weight anymore…. now I can eat that whole cheesecake” (I’m exaggerating of couse) I think the biggest difference for me this time around, is that I know this is a life-long commitment. So when I get lazy or eat poorly for while, I just tell myself it’s like a little holiday, and I always come back to good habits. I guess in the past it was always the other way around, the default mode was bad habits.

And I’m still working on the book. The new job has me busy busy lately. I’m actually on the road as we speak on a 9 day long business trip! But I’m putting the final touches on a few book edits, so it’s definitely moving along, albeit a little more slowly. I’m so excited to get 101 Reasons into print! It’s been years of blood, sweat, and tears… ok maybe brownies, exercise, and venting… but you get the idea.

And on a side note: I know I don’t post nearly enough, but I’m still here. So stop asking to buy my blog! It’s not for sale!!!

If you’ve noticed, I removed the archives from my blog. *collective awww from the readers* But never fear, cause the good news is 101 Reasons I Hate Being Fat is becoming a book! *yays* So follow me on Twitter if you want to hear me rant and rave about the whole publishing process and talk about my daily struggles!

If you’ve noticed, I removed the archives from my blog. *collective awww from the readers* But never fear, cause the good news is 101 Reasons I Hate Being Fat is becoming a book! *yays* So follow me on Twitter if you want to hear me rant and rave about the whole publishing process and talk about my daily struggles!

1. Dieting. It seems that fat people are always on a diet, or at least attempting to be on a diet! Think of all the time and effort that goes into following all the programs, portioning out just the right amount of food, planning meals, shopping for the right ingredients, and frankly all the effort of feeling guilty when you eat something that you’re not supposed to. I think fat people spend WAY more time thinking about food and food preparation than thinner people. Have you ever found yourself planning your next meal just as you took the last bite of your current meal? I know I have! I’m always planning (and not always in a good way – sometimes I’m planning when I’ll have my next brownie)!

2. Physical. Being fat is hard work! Now I’m 5’6″ with a stocky frame, so by my doctor’s calculations I should weigh roughly in the 160 pound neighborhood. I’m currently 280, so that means I’m carrying an excess of about 120 pounds! Wow that’s a hefty load! I mean imagine a 160 pound person having to carry around a 120 backpack all day long. Geesh, that would take a lot of effort. It takes a lot of work to lug around all that extra weight! Even walking up a flight of stairs can seem like a major task if you are carrying that much weight. By the end of the day, I’m exhausted, even if I’ve only done a few things around the house! Think of all of the other physical limitations of being fat. If you were healthier, you could play longer with your kids, you could enjoy physical activities like sport more, hell, even sex would be better!

3. Psychological. I think being fat adds so much undue stress to a person’s life. Fat people have so many worries about being fat. We worry about what other people think about us, we worry about our diets, we worry about our health, we worry about getting dates, we worry about everything! That takes so much effort to constantly worry about stuff. And it’s not just worrying. There are many other taxing emotions that face the fat afflicted. Many fat people suffer from depression and loneliness, though this may be a case of the chicken and egg. Which came first? The fat or the depression? Some would argue that being depressed leads to overeating and then obesity, but others would argue that being obese in itself is depressing and leads to further depression. I’m not sure on this one. Was I depressed when I was thinner and got then fat, or was I fat and then got depressed? The jury is still out on this one. I’m sure it’s different for everyone, regardless, dealing with depression takes effort. You find yourself constantly having to give yourself pep talks to keep your spirits up or talk yourself out of yet another neurosis.

4. Health. Being fat is clinically proven to be bad for your health. Many people who are fat have to deal with medical conditions brought on by their obesity. It could be diabetes, high blood pressure, a heart condition, or even bad knees; they all take a lot of effort to deal with. With all of these afflictions there are numerous doctor visits, medications, and regimens that must be followed, all of which take a ton of effort. Imagine all the extra time you would have if you didn’t need to keep popping pills or going to the doctor!

5. Work place. It’s been shown that obese people are less likely to be hired than their thinner counterparts, mostly due to overly simplified stereotypes of the obese as being thought of as lazy and stupid. Now if you’re one of the lucky ones and have a job, it’s also been shown that obese people earn less money in the same jobs than skinner folks. So in the work place the obese person needs to make more of an effort to shine above the rest and prove their worth as a good employee. Who woulda thunk it? Being fat even affects the amount of effort you need to put into a job.

So what am I getting at with all of this? Well clearly being fat sucks. Not only does it carry awful social stigmas and health risks, it takes a lot of work! We always bitch and moan that losing weight is so hard and takes too much time and effort, but really it’s so much harder being fat! Stay fat and spend a lifetime of hard work and effort to maintain (or should I say deal with) your fat body, or spend a few weeks, months, or years of effort losing weight and getting fit and healthy. It’s our choice. Now by nature I’m kind of a lazy person. I always look at losing weight as such a major task, like it just TOO hard. But really when you put it into perspective, being fat is much harder. The amount of effort I mentioned above is just hitting the tip of the iceberg. It just takes so much effort to be fat. Wouldn’t it be nice to not have to work so hard on all of the things we need to do being fat? I think the time is now to put in the effort and get healthy. All your efforts today will pay off for a lifetime!

Update: I know a lot of you have been wondering where I’ve been. I’m here, just trying to deal with life. As you see by my stats my weight hasn’t budged! Yup, I’m still 280. So why the slow down? I’d been doing so well, consistently losing about 0.5-1 pound per week. Well let’s face it; I haven’t been putting in the effort into getting healthy. I’ve been letting the fat weigh me down (pun intended). Sometimes life throws you curve balls, and I got a whopper. Now I’m not trying to make any excuses. I know I’m not putting in the effort and it’s reflected in my lack of weight loss, but I thought I’d fill you in on what’s been up. In May I got laid off. Woo hoo, gotta love the economy! So I’ve been coping with being an unemployed person. Truth be told, I’ve been holding a pity party for myself. We you’re unemployed for a while you really start to doubt your own self worth. I have a PhD and I can’t even find a job, so I keep wondering what’s wrong with me. Then I keep going back to that statistic about how it’s harder for an obese person to find a job and I wonder if that’s part of it, which in turn, makes me feel even worse and leads me yet again to that wonderful pan of brownies… yeah I know, I should know better. These walls on my pit of despair are steep, but I keep trying to claw my way out! I’m not going to get stuck in that rut of feeling sorry for myself and turning to food as a way to cope. I just have to keep reminding myself that’s just the economy; so many others are in the exact same boat as me. I really need to remind myself of the big picture, that getting healthy NOW is important and will make me feel much better for the rest of my life. Hard times are no excuse. We’ll be dealt a bad hand in life now and again. Learning how to deal with the tough times the right way is so important. Many people turn to their vices during the rocky times, whether it be drinking, drugs, or in my case food. But all of those things merely mask the pain. They don’t solve your problems, only you can do that by facing them head on. That’s why I say now that I’ll always be a recovering fat-a-holic. The temptation to slide back into old habits is so easy. Sure I may have fallen off the wagon for a bit, but I’m not quitting

1. Dieting. It seems that fat people are always on a diet, or at least attempting to be on a diet! Think of all the time and effort that goes into following all the programs, portioning out just the right amount of food, planning meals, shopping for the right ingredients, and frankly all the effort of feeling guilty when you eat something that you’re not supposed to. I think fat people spend WAY more time thinking about food and food preparation than thinner people. Have you ever found yourself planning your next meal just as you took the last bite of your current meal? I know I have! I’m always planning (and not always in a good way – sometimes I’m planning when I’ll have my next brownie)!

2. Physical. Being fat is hard work! Now I’m 5’6″ with a stocky frame, so by my doctor’s calculations I should weigh roughly in the 160 pound neighborhood. I’m currently 280, so that means I’m carrying an excess of about 120 pounds! Wow that’s a hefty load! I mean imagine a 160 pound person having to carry around a 120 backpack all day long. Geesh, that would take a lot of effort. It takes a lot of work to lug around all that extra weight! Even walking up a flight of stairs can seem like a major task if you are carrying that much weight. By the end of the day, I’m exhausted, even if I’ve only done a few things around the house! Think of all of the other physical limitations of being fat. If you were healthier, you could play longer with your kids, you could enjoy physical activities like sport more, hell, even sex would be better!

3. Psychological. I think being fat adds so much undue stress to a person’s life. Fat people have so many worries about being fat. We worry about what other people think about us, we worry about our diets, we worry about our health, we worry about getting dates, we worry about everything! That takes so much effort to constantly worry about stuff. And it’s not just worrying. There are many other taxing emotions that face the fat afflicted. Many fat people suffer from depression and loneliness, though this may be a case of the chicken and egg. Which came first? The fat or the depression? Some would argue that being depressed leads to overeating and then obesity, but others would argue that being obese in itself is depressing and leads to further depression. I’m not sure on this one. Was I depressed when I was thinner and got then fat, or was I fat and then got depressed? The jury is still out on this one. I’m sure it’s different for everyone, regardless, dealing with depression takes effort. You find yourself constantly having to give yourself pep talks to keep your spirits up or talk yourself out of yet another neurosis.

4. Health. Being fat is clinically proven to be bad for your health. Many people who are fat have to deal with medical conditions brought on by their obesity. It could be diabetes, high blood pressure, a heart condition, or even bad knees; they all take a lot of effort to deal with. With all of these afflictions there are numerous doctor visits, medications, and regimens that must be followed, all of which take a ton of effort. Imagine all the extra time you would have if you didn’t need to keep popping pills or going to the doctor!

5. Work place. It’s been shown that obese people are less likely to be hired than their thinner counterparts, mostly due to overly simplified stereotypes of the obese as being thought of as lazy and stupid. Now if you’re one of the lucky ones and have a job, it’s also been shown that obese people earn less money in the same jobs than skinner folks. So in the work place the obese person needs to make more of an effort to shine above the rest and prove their worth as a good employee. Who woulda thunk it? Being fat even affects the amount of effort you need to put into a job.

So what am I getting at with all of this? Well clearly being fat sucks. Not only does it carry awful social stigmas and health risks, it takes a lot of work! We always bitch and moan that losing weight is so hard and takes too much time and effort, but really it’s so much harder being fat! Stay fat and spend a lifetime of hard work and effort to maintain (or should I say deal with) your fat body, or spend a few weeks, months, or years of effort losing weight and getting fit and healthy. It’s our choice. Now by nature I’m kind of a lazy person. I always look at losing weight as such a major task, like it just TOO hard. But really when you put it into perspective, being fat is much harder. The amount of effort I mentioned above is just hitting the tip of the iceberg. It just takes so much effort to be fat. Wouldn’t it be nice to not have to work so hard on all of the things we need to do being fat? I think the time is now to put in the effort and get healthy. All your efforts today will pay off for a lifetime!

Update: I know a lot of you have been wondering where I’ve been. I’m here, just trying to deal with life. As you see by my stats my weight hasn’t budged! Yup, I’m still 280. So why the slow down? I’d been doing so well, consistently losing about 0.5-1 pound per week. Well let’s face it; I haven’t been putting in the effort into getting healthy. I’ve been letting the fat weigh me down (pun intended). Sometimes life throws you curve balls, and I got a whopper. Now I’m not trying to make any excuses. I know I’m not putting in the effort and it’s reflected in my lack of weight loss, but I thought I’d fill you in on what’s been up. In May I got laid off. Woo hoo, gotta love the economy! So I’ve been coping with being an unemployed person. Truth be told, I’ve been holding a pity party for myself. We you’re unemployed for a while you really start to doubt your own self worth. I have a PhD and I can’t even find a job, so I keep wondering what’s wrong with me. Then I keep going back to that statistic about how it’s harder for an obese person to find a job and I wonder if that’s part of it, which in turn, makes me feel even worse and leads me yet again to that wonderful pan of brownies… yeah I know, I should know better. These walls on my pit of despair are steep, but I keep trying to claw my way out! I’m not going to get stuck in that rut of feeling sorry for myself and turning to food as a way to cope. I just have to keep reminding myself that’s just the economy; so many others are in the exact same boat as me. I really need to remind myself of the big picture, that getting healthy NOW is important and will make me feel much better for the rest of my life. Hard times are no excuse. We’ll be dealt a bad hand in life now and again. Learning how to deal with the tough times the right way is so important. Many people turn to their vices during the rocky times, whether it be drinking, drugs, or in my case food. But all of those things merely mask the pain. They don’t solve your problems, only you can do that by facing them head on. That’s why I say now that I’ll always be a recovering fat-a-holic. The temptation to slide back into old habits is so easy. Sure I may have fallen off the wagon for a bit, but I’m not quitting